We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Randomize