Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
