don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
My penis needs a shock collar
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry