Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year