doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
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mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
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You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I believe in your delicious