I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
