I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
