my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Randomize