I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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