508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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