I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize