At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
