Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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