Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize
