Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat