I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
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Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
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Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life