if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
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She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
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I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly