About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
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next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
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I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.