Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
