i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize