i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
