You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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