[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum