But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
29 “I’m Getting Old” Moments
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
19 Worst Song Lyrics of All Time
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.