wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
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No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
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I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.