My hair reeks of homosexuality.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
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i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
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I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
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