i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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