part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Randomize
