so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Dating After Heartbreak
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"