Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.