I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I just had sex on a roof
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party