that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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