Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
