i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
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We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
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