dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
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