I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize