I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize