we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
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