Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize