Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
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We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
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I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
He has the fingertips of a God
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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