i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
