Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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