haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Randomize