Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
