He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
we're making bets on your personal life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Randomize