Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
