Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
She bit a glass in half.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
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