So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
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