Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize