I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
PANTIES FOUND
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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