at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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