Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
