I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize
