So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
