I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
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He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Holy shit dude........stairs
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