How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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