fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
