Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.