margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
hahahahaha turkey breast
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I am available for nakedness
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour