Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.