Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
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i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
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I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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