Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
