She announced her abortion via fbk
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize